As part of our Lunch & Learn series of webinars, we spoke to Nigel Denby of Harley Street at Home.
Menopause is part of every woman’s life, yet a legacy of poor information and communication still leaves many of us wondering what’s happening and what we can do to navigate this major transition in our life. In this session, we spoke to Nigel for his expert advice and top tips for taking control of our menopause journey.
Henpicked: We’ve all heard the phrase ‘knowledge is power’. How do you think that applies to menopause?
Nigel Denby: Since I set up my business three years ago we’ve grown to a community of 75,000 women. The vast majority of these have some degree of information about menopause and the taboo has been somewhat lifted. But the quality of that information is mixed. Some is anecdotal from friends and family, or celebrities or other sources from social media. So not everyone is well qualified and not everything is fact.
There are still a lot of women who recognise what menopause and perimenopause is, and there’s now a lot more awareness about when symptoms might start, but they might not always understand what these symptoms are, the impact these can have and what they can do about them.
So knowledge is key, but make sure you’re not going too far down a rabbit hole with well-meaning but misguided information.
Henpicked: Some people talk about ‘menopause anxiety’, so absolutely dreading what’s ahead. What would you say to them?
Nigel Denby: Raising awareness is great but it’s the tip of the iceberg. Then we have to open up the conversation. Instead of saying ‘this is going to happen to you’ I’d like to see an approach of ‘what is happening to you?’. So making it more about listening. This is a life stage but can be medicalised, which adds to a lot of fear and removes the element of normality.
The reality is that some women will breeze through, others will notice a few changes and about a quarter of women will be bothered by symptoms which have an impact. Many women who are working do find menopause impacts on their working life. But we know that just one in 10 women reach out for help.
For me, it’s not about reassuring people with specific ‘you must do this’ advice. But it’s about arming people with evidence-based information on which they can make decisions on how to manage their menopause. Empowering women to make informed choices for themselves.
Henpicked: Can you give us your top tips for taking control?
Nigel Denby: Remember that a lot of primary care health professionals haven’t had specialist training, so if you do go and see your doctor be well prepared. Make a diary of your symptoms and then look at how you’d like to manage these. For example, if you’d like to use HRT do you want tablets or patches, what’s your reasoning behind this? You can then have a useful conversation with your doctor giving your choices and suggestions and checking with them whether that’s suitable for you given your medical history. This will be far more productive than sitting down with your doctor and saying ‘I feel rubbish’.
Acceptance is also a huge part of control. This isn’t a disease, it doesn’t mean you’re getting old. For a lot of people this isn’t even halfway through their lives. But menopause will happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. This is a good time to reclaim your lifestyle and get rid of some of those bad habits you’ve picked up through your life. Prepare yourself to have the most vital decades possible as you move through your 70s, 80s and 90s.
Remember too, there’s no badge of honour for muddling through. If you haven’t reached out for help and you’re struggling, it’s time to think about what to do. Be savvy and explore the good, factual information out there. Arm yourself with information and ideas, which in turn will give you the knowledge and confidence to speak with a health professional. I know it can be difficult even to get a GP appointment, but that will be the last hump in the road once you have this knowledge at your fingertips.
Talking is also really important. Share stories with other people, see if you can learn from their experiences. Look at online communities and social media forums. Talk in your workplace, in your friendship group, with your partner and your children. Remember the saying, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved.’
Henpicked: So control is about understanding your choices?
Nigel Denby: Yes and it’s your choice, nobody else’s. And it’s not set in stone either. The choice you make at the start of your menopause transition might change as you go along. You can start or stop treatment, change what you’re doing, introduce lifestyle tweaks. But having that information to hand means you are more likely to know what will work.
For example, lifestyle changes and healthy eating can help on so many different levels. If you choose not to (or can’t) take HRT then the right diet and lifestyle is your passport to helping keep your heart and bones healthy. Nothing crazy, no gimmicks or fads, just a lifestyle to take you through your long and healthy life.
