Last year I got married, and this year we want to start a family. It’s got me thinking more than ever about my mother. Her impact on me, her influence and the roles she’s played throughout my life.
Our perception of our mothers changes depending on our stage of life, but for them their role is always the same: they love us unconditionally.
When we’re babies we’re totally and completely dependent on them. As we progress into teenagers, they somehow turn into the enemy. We keep secrets from them, we lie to them, and we don’t appreciate them as much as we should.
Then, we become adults and the most beautiful relationship forms. We communicate with them often, we’re honest, we’re loving and appreciative. We don’t take them for granted, help when we can and we care what they think.
And for these reasons, this is what I’d like to tell my own mother:
As your daughter there are a couple things I’d like to say, confess, and own up to.
First of all, you truly are my best friend. There are still things I feel like I can tell you openly that I cannot tell my husband, my friends, or my colleagues. You have known me the longest, know me the purest, and honestly want nothing but the best for me.
There are times in my life I get news so big, so exciting, so scary, or so sad that all I want to do is call you first. The bond I have with you is like no bond I have with anyone else. It’s like the trust I have with my husband, the girly-gossipy factor I have with my girlfriends, and the reasonable, responsible side I share with my colleagues.
Over the years I went from being entirely dependent on you as a child, to keeping distance and secrets as a teenager, to now embracing and wanting you in my everyday adulthood life.
I don’t call you every day, or see you every Sunday night for family dinner, but you are the person I can trust till the end, and I know that death really is the only thing that will keep us apart.
You gave me the gift of life. You brought me in this world and taught me everything you knew. You gave up time, dreams, and money. You were selfless to me.
I just hope that you truly know how loved, cherish, and appreciated you are.
As I begin to get ready to start my own family I want you to know you are my inspiration. I want to be the same mother to my child that you were to me. I hope I can use the lessons you taught me, to show my children how to be good people and actively contribute to our society.
I want you to know that the times I may have left you feeling unworthy, unappreciated and unloved during my teenage or younger years were not intentional.
Above all, I want you to know I love you more than anything and really think you are the perfect mom.
Love always and forever,
Take a little time…
Sometimes, we take our mothers for granted. Not on purpose, but we do. We forget to call, we forget to check in, and we forget to ask how they are doing.
If you’re lucky enough to still have your mother in your life, take some time to call her. Tell her you love her and that you appreciate her. Life shouldn’t be taken for granted and neither should our mothers.