Jeanne Ellin: touch

statue of man and women embracing

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statue of man and women embracing

Many older men coming out of long relationships are seeking a belated wild youth or to have one last adventure. They are looking for a vital woman in her forties or even early fifties. They often specify good health and fitness. This is a common requirement even without a specified age. Others are looking for what I think of as a ‘Slot In’. Someone who will neatly and exactly fill the space in their life.

I can quote one example of this. A man who described himself as a devoted grandfather. I found this a positive. Then he went on to say he visited his grandchildren every two weeks and specified the direction of his journey. He said it would be ideal if his new partner had family in the same direction. Another described a racial and body type. This is not uncommon. Yes I do ‘Window shop’ online and in papers.

I am neither forty nor fit. Good health is often specified or hill walking or other vigorous exercise mentioned. I am excluded from many potentially interesting contacts. Indeed my limited mobility narrows the range of possible partners considerably. I would not respond to those who specify body types or race, even if I qualified. Nor am I a potential Slot In.

I am currently single and will probably remain so. Yet the universe can offer wonderful surprises and I am open to being happily surprised while building a satisfying life for myself.

two hands holdingSomething that is seldom mentioned is the lack of simple touch in the lives of many older people. Currently, I still get to hold and cuddle my grandsons and I feast on it. I know they will grow out of such exuberant affection and then I must step back with grace. No duty kisses or cuddles for Grandmother. Kindly meant but potentially dangerous, they must feel free to say no to any unwanted touch, whether it is grandparents’ whiskery affection or something more sinister.

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I would like to explore the possibility of massage as a source of sustaining touch. Perhaps the sports centre or massage students needing someone to practise on would have moderate fees?

Please do comment on this article below. Jeanne enjoys your feedback.

Jeanne Ellin

About Jeanne Ellin

I am a poet working at living a creative life in a one room flat, companioned by a menagerie of chronic health problems. I began this series of posts after being inspired by two women younger than myself, who, fearful of their imagined old age spent in ill health and poverty, committed suicide. I explore every year as a bonus of adventures, with moments of discomfort or fear, but with unexpected treasure to be found - helped by a sense of the ridiculous, a world perspective and creativity.