How I sorted my life out…

Anything is possible. For anyone. Yes, even you. I really believe that.

The thing is this is your life, no one else’s. I love that quote “no one is coming to save you; this life is 100% your responsibility” because it’s so true.

That man on the white charger isn’t coming. I have no idea where he is, but wherever he is he’s enjoying it, because I haven’t seen him yet.

There is power in that thought, though. I don’t know about you, but once I realised it was my responsibility, it was like wow, that means I can do something about it.

Here are some of the things I did that helped me change my life:

I stopped drinking

Yes, I know you have heard it all before. But seriously if you really want your life to be different, take a break from the booze. One year is best, but any time out is good. The happiest people I know don’t drink.

I got to know myself

Do you really know who you are? What’s important to you? What you want? What makes you tick? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What you struggle with? Once you really know yourself, everything else becomes so much easier.

I spend time on myself

Invest in yourself, I don’t mean money, I mean time. Not on the house, the car, or the new outfit for the wedding, I mean you. That yoga class you have always wanted to go to or maybe you love spa days, how often do you do that? Do you spend time and money on personal and professional development? I spent time on me and learning how to feel good.

I focused on my children

We don’t have our children for long. It feels like from the moment they are born we are learning how to let go at different points of their lives. Life can easily get in the way: the job, paying all the bills, divorce, emotions etc. Your kids don’t remember whether you did the washing up or not, they remember if you were happy. If you spent time with them playing games, swimming, doing things they like doing.

I learned to be a good friend

When you don’t drink, you know who you are. And when you are investing in yourself, you feel good, when you feel good it rubs off on everyone around you, it’s a win win. You can be more available for your friends and be there when they need you. It feels good.

I figured out what makes me happy

I mean REALLY happy. What are you passionate about? This goes hand in hand with the getting to know yourself and investing in yourself one. Through this hopefully you will find out what it is that makes you tick. Do what makes you feel good. It could be anything, something that makes your heart sing. You don’t have to be good at it, although it helps.

I made sure I did work I love.

We are lucky we live in a society where if things aren’t working for us we can change it. That is a reason to be happy right there. I am so grateful that I have those choices. Work is such a massive part of our lives.  We spend so much time at work we really need to get some enjoyment out of it. I know we can’t have the perfect job all the time. And I have done my fair share of mundane jobs.  But this is way more important than we give it credit.

When I am coaching people this comes up quite a bit, particularly when they are about three months into not drinking. It’s the job that’s getting them down. If you don’t know what you want to do, figure it out, I know it takes time, but as long as you are moving forward in some way, you will get there.

I designed my life

You can be the designer of your life. I know there are some situations that we can’t do anything about, but there is always somewhere you can. Find it. Make it yours.  Even when my life was incredibly difficult and there was very little I could do about it, I still found time to go dancing. That was my joy, my pleasure, the something for me.

Hopefully there’s some food for thought for you in there. We really are the mistresses of our own destiny and if we want change to happen, it’s in our hands…

Stephanie Chivers

About Stephanie Chivers

I'm a habit and addiction specialist, author of There Is No Magic Button. I also lead a closed Facebook group for woman that want to change their relationship with alcohol. Find out more about me at my website