A defining moment for me was 10 years ago, sitting in a bar with my best friend and meeting her two friends from university for the first time.
I should point out that they were all 28, against my 38, all single, in and out of relationships.
They were reliving their university days, and telling me how they all got to know one another.
I loved the way they were so free with no cares in the world and how they all loved being with each other.
I said that they should cherish these moments and hang on tight, as in my experience friendships were very precious and needed work.
At that time, my other friends had drifted into marriages, mortgages and happy families. Our roads parted, not from wanting to be away from each other, but our priorities had changed. So while not trying to sound like their mothers, I toasted my new friends’ closeness, encouraged them to enjoy every moment and always keep in touch.
As I said, a defining moment, because I look now to where these relationships are. My best friend got married, had two children, still likes to party and keeps in touch every week. She hears from one of her friends now and then, while the other has disappeared but, we hear, is ‘loved up’.
Having met one of them recently, she was letting her hair down and said to me, “You were so right when we first met; I thought that you were wrong about our friendships not lasting forever but I see it now, and I thank you for raising it back then. Because when I turn down a night out or am too tired from juggling things with home and work, I remember what you said. It was like a warning – and I never wanted to be one of those people!”
Those words made me realise that perhaps I was one of those people’; I had inadvertently allowed some of my closest friends to lose touch without making the effort myself!
With the help of ‘Facebook’, I decided to try and find some of my long lost friends.
I didn’t realise how difficult it would be, as most of my female friends had married and I didn’t know their surnames. Those whose surnames I knew, had popular ones and there were too many to trawl through. Then there were others that didn’t like to use social media. I did find some of my old friends though and it was great to catch up with their lives.
One thing I have realised, that no matter how much time has passed over the years, and how your lives have changed, the person inside is still the person you knew. Some conversations were a continuation, as if we’d seen each other yesterday. Gone were the bad feelings of not being in touch or missing a significant moment. (There had been others who’d helped to prop you up when you were having a meltdown, going through a crisis or a euphoric moment.)
We should count our blessings for all the friends we have, and not regret the ones we may have lost along the way.
To find long lost friends here’s some helpful tips.
If you’re on Facebook already:
And Friends Reunited have updated their site with more ways to get back in touch.