Me? Spend money and time on myself? Ooh no, I couldn’t do that. But why not?
Unfortunately feeling guilty about enjoying ourselves and doing things we love comes from years of conditioning.
We spend a lot of our time doing things for others, who incidentally are very capable of doing things for themselves, and leaving ourselves with no time.
Worse still, we can fall into the habit of thinking it’s actually wrong to spend time on ourselves occasionally.
And when we do take some time out, why do we call it a ‘pamper’ or an ‘indulgence’? Relieving the pain in your back or rehydrating parched skin is not a luxury.
Argh! I have to admit, when I hear woman speak of my treatments as a pamper it makes my toes curl and my heart pound.
And here are my five reasons why you should NEVER call time out for yourself an indulgence. In fact, I’m going to put a notice on my studio door saying ‘Pampering does not occur here. But other life-changing, important stuff does’.
Or to phrase it another way, try ‘respect’ or ‘value’ instead. If you don’t consider yourself important enough to justify an hour’s therapeutic touch, how are your kids and partners supposed to value you? Who else will know how to show you love if you have trouble showing yourself?
Set yourself a monthly budget. Pick a number in your head. For argument’s sake let’s say £60. I can already hear you. Stop it! Now ask yourself this question: Am I worth £60 a month? If your answer is ‘hell, yes’ go girl! If you’re squirming ‘Ooh no, I don’t know’ we need to do some work.
Find the time
Yes we’re all very, very busy. But before you know it you’ve aged ten years and haven’t done anything but work, cook, clean, iron, work. The shocking news is that you’re totally in control of your own path and your own time.
If you want an hour’s facial every month you are more than capable of making that decision. Plan ahead. Book your appointment a month in advance. Write it in your diary in ink so that you can’t rub it out. Every time you’re tempted to buy a bottle of wine or box of chocolates, put that money in your ‘me time budget’.
Author John Gray (Men are from Mars, women are from Venus) says we shouldn’t feel guilty about spending time alone or without our partner. In fact it’s good for both us and our relationships.
It can help us work things out in our minds and spending time on ourselves can make us feel good so that both partners will come back feeling renewed… and lucky to be in a balanced and healthy relationship.
Enhance your emotional and physical wellbeing
As women, partners and mothers we are the core of the household. Everyone comes to us for something, whether it be advice, a hug or a pair of socks. So it stands to reason if we’re unhappy or in a bad mood and snappy, everyone around us will be affected and that doesn’t make for a pleasant experience.
Taking time out for yourself helps you recharge your batteries and makes you feel happier emotionally and physically. It releases feel-good hormones, putting a spring back into your step and a smile on your family’s faces, setting them up for a great day too.
You’re only as good to others as you are to yourself
Kim Rossi, an expert in women’s health, believes that you can only help others based on your own level of awareness and experience. But what’s awareness got to do with spending time and money on yourself? Well, it’ about discovery.
Women often tell me that their me time helps them drift off to another place. They switch off from their obligations and duties and as a result they remember who they are. How wonderful it feels to emerge from a hypnotic cocoon feeling pleasantly woozy and empowered. You can then share your positivity and renewed strength with your family.
Watch how they react to their fresh and happy mum and partner. You know what they say about butterfly wings and ripples…
So it’s actually your duty and responsibility as a woman to go and spend time and money on yourself. Feels better when you hear it that way doesn’t it?!