Sometimes you can’t beat foil-wrapped chocolate hearts
Somehow, after twenty-seven years of marriage the red roses and champagne element of my life is, shall we say, a little dormant, so when I sat down to write a piece for Valentine’s Day, my mind went a complete blank.
The fact that the great day falls on a Friday might seem to enhance the potential for a romantic evening for two – but unfortunately, Friday night is swimming club night for our Little Princess, and thus we spend a couple of hours inhaling the chlorine-laden vapours of a temple of fitness, rather than eye to eye over a candlelit meal.
But then I saw that this Valentine’s contribution needed to be ‘short yet somehow funny’ – no problem there, as I am quite familiar with that concept from my daily encounter with the mirror. And for those of you still hanging on in there in a relationship of twenty-plus years, you are probably pretty familiar with the old saw, ‘You have to laugh or you’d cry …’
If you aren’t convinced by that sentiment, then just think back over the years of gift-giving by the men in your life, where their utmost sincerity and thoughtfulness has resulted in a missed-the-target-by-miles present – and if my experience is anything to go by – on more than one occasion.
(And if you tell me that your other half has always, utterly independently and unprompted, given you the most perfect romantic present and has never produced something to which your subconscious response is delicately poised between hysterical laughter and hysterical sobs, then I salute you.)
The most expensive present that my dearest has ever given me was a little metal fan contraption to sit on the top of the woodburner and improve the warm air circulation in the house. His logic was impeccable – it would mean that I would never more be chilly in winter, and wasn’t it better to have a good, solid, hardwearing gift than quantities of cheap fun? What sensible person could argue with that?
But as I sit here in soaking wet, windswept Old Blighty, and think of all of us who are wading through puddles, squelching in mud, and generally enduring a hellish winter, I feel that a bit of cheap fun is what we all need. So I hope that your Valentine’s Day is dryer than you hoped, doesn’t leave you feeling under the weather, and has a bit of romantic sparkle, even if only in the form of foil-wrapped chocolate hearts.