Are you living the life you would be happy to see replayed in your obituary? Or are you sitting on the sofa watching the same TV show you always watch, because that’s what someone told you life was about once you’d reached 40?
How many times have you been told ‘Don’t complain’. ‘Don’t be ungrateful’. ‘How could you be unhappy with everything you’ve got around you?’ ‘There’s many worse off than you’.
How many times have you expressed a lack of joy about your life only to be told it’s normal, that’s life. Especially for your age? And how many times have you accepted it and not questioned it?
Everyone has a different measure of fulfilment. For some people it looks like a high-flying job, active social life and constantly being on the go. For others, it’s based on a quieter life and a few close friends who you see occasionally. It’s answering the callings of your soul in whatever form feels right for you.
Have you spent any time recently thinking about how fulfilled you feel in life? Is there room to improve an aspect of your life or even your entire life? Have you discovered your life purpose and are you working amongst whatever that is? Are you really, truly living the life you want?
My personal mission
I’m working towards my life purpose and it hasn’t always been easy. It’s taken a lot of deep thought, supported conversations and bravery. I’m now on a regular exploration of self discovery and personal development that doesn’t rock my main life too much. I haven’t had to leave my job and fly off to a retreat in Bali! But it gives me intense satisfaction deep down in my soul.
On the outside my new life doesn’t look much different, but the difference is in me. I smile more, I have twinkly eyes when I talk about my passions and I’m learning so many new things that I can share in conversation.
If you feel you have an itch inside that needs scratching, and a deep feeling that something could be better in life I urge you not to ignore it any longer. Ignoring such callings can cause mental and physical illness, because you are denying a part of your body and mind the joy and excitement that life should bring.
Fear can be your greatest enemy when you decide to do something different. It takes courage to step up for yourself. My argument for encouraging everyone to step out of current life and seek fulfilment is that if you feel fulfilled on the inside, you will radiate on the outside. That makes your relationships better, life feels easier and new opportunities will open up for you.
Feeling the fear…
My fear of opening up towards fulfilment was based around needing to totally change jobs and I couldn’t possibly do that because who would pay the bills?
I also feared what others would think of me. Isn’t this a strange one to worry about? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who is living their best life than the person who is vegetating in the same routine day in and day out? I also feared that I didn’t really know what would fulfil me and so why should I start looking. I didn’t know where to start anyway.
It was all too much.
Does this feel familiar? My advice is not to worry about the bigger picture, especially if your dreams feel too far away. Taking one or two steps in the right direction can help to clear the path further down the line. And be playful in your exploration. Don’t close off any thoughts at this stage.
Think about what gives you joy, what excites you and makes you feel passionate, and also think about the opposite of these things. Because then you know what roads not to follow! Understanding what we don’t like is just as valuable as finding things we do like.
If you’re not sure where to start, look through some magazines or online pinboards and see what jumps out at you and sparks an emotion. Once you have a list you can playfully review how easy or how much change will be needed to move forwards. Then you can see whether you have the resources you need now or whether you need to gather them over time.
Resources might be finance, support, other people, a course, a book, online research, shadowing. Again don’t limit your ideas on how you can take the next steps.