A humbling day

I have spent a bit of time with my parents recently, my dad is needing some hospital care. We had a hospital appointment, sat there waiting, my mum and dad together as ever, my mum anxious, protective and frail yet strong, and my dad stoic and gentle.

We see the specialist…my dad has to strip off, an unusual thing to be asked to do in your late 80s by an attractive woman in her 40s, so he goes behind a curtain and we lose him. He is examined and then asked to get dressed in that way that doctors have. relationships-couple-silhouette-300x239

My mum gets up and asks from our side of the curtain if he needs some help putting his socks on. I don’t know why but that bit all of a sudden makes me want to cry. I look at the doctor and say something like…” These guys are from another generation aren’t they…” , she looks moved too and nods affirmatively saying… “Yes it is very humbling, something to aspire to..”

If you are reading this and you know what I mean then you will know I am trying, badly, to describe that tenderness of care and love that you sometimes see between couples who have been together a very long time, a lifetime in fact. I think is is a topic worth exploring.

Can any of us today in our mid 50s or younger ever hope to achieve that level of tenderness in our closest relationship or has feminism, affluence, confusion of roles, lack of backbone or something else entirely put a stop to all that…..discuss….

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About Carolyn Lazarus

This is the author biography the late, great Carolyn Lazarus (1960-2015), founder of totally4women wrote for herself. Her words are typically self-effacing and humorous... 'Well at 50 I looked 40 and at 54 I look 99...someone explain that to me if they would. In addition I am, allegedly, a woman with little or indeed no sense of chic. Shy by nature or nurture it is difficult to say but it is what I am at heart. When I was 14 my mum bought me, “The Shy Person's Book" ...if you are a shy person this can be a difficult title to deal with every morning when you pass by your bookshelf. I like to run, nothing funny to say about this, it's just what I like to do. So that's me in a nutshell. It remains to say that I love my husband (long - suffering), my children (totally bored) and my parents (concerned).'