Finding friendships after divorce

For most women who have gone through a divorce, one of the most painful things is becoming excluded from the group of friends you and your ex used to socialise with.

4 women enjoying a night inNo longer do you get invited out at weekend when they’re all going to try the new restaurant or spend a few days in London.

And that wedding you were sure you’d be invited to? It seems the invite got lost in the post.

As much as people smile and wave when they see you, no one will ever really explain why you’re no longer part of the group.

But you’ll find that you become really popular on Mondays.

Monday night is when your friends will make time to see you. Monday night when the cinemas/restaurants/pubs are empty and husbands won’t mind if their wives go out that evening.

Monday night when you’ve paid for a babysitter so you can sit in a pub with a couple of friends while they talk about what a good time they all had at Johnny’s barbecue two days ago and no one will ask why you weren’t there.

Taking action

Well, you’ve already made some major changes and now it’s time to make some more.

As much as you love your friends – especially when they come round with wine and chocolate – it’s time to explain to the weekend ladies that you don’t really like to spend Mondays in empty places.

So how about suggesting a girly night some Thursday evenings at yours? It doesn’t have to be a late one, just nibbles and drinks. But you’ll be spending time together and in some way you will feel that you’re still involved with what’s going on.

Branching out

And what’s to stop you from finding some new friends? We all know the old advice of taking up classes – dancing, painting, joining a choir – but it’s true. They are a great way of meeting likeminded people.

There will always be one or two in particular whose company you enjoy and who will hopefully become part of your circle of friends.

It’s the same with meet-up groups. In every city these gatherings offer a wonderful variety of things purely aimed at people who, for whatever reason, are looking to make new friends.

And there’s always the WI. Before you go running for the hills, it’s not all about making jam (apparently).

Then there are book clubs, coffee afternoons, walking groups, meet ups for going to the cinema, shopping days, ladies who lunch, theatre trips.

I could go on. The main thing is that there is literally something for everyone so there’s no excuse to be sitting on your sofa, twiddling your thumbs and watching rubbish TV.

You’ve done the hard bit. Now how about making life a bit easier and enjoying yourself? The world is out there waiting for you…

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Jacqueline Wright

About Jacqueline Wright

I'm a 50+ woman living in Manchester with my lovely gay housemate and loving it. Apart from going on the odd date I like to read, do a bit of writing and rather a lot of socialising. I'm really enjoying this chapter of my life. Follow me on Twitter